Steady My Heart
Sooooo...here I am for the first time this year. I hope to write many more blog posts this year.
After the events of last week: After numerous trips to the ER regarding my SVT, I had an ablation to my heart on Valentine's Day-on a valve that I had fixed when I was born. It was a bittersweet moment for my family and I. My mom was there once again for me. I could write a whole blog dedicated to that woman. She was my first friend and is my biggest cheerleader. I love her.
I jump on the blog-bus and think I'm going to get on it and ride it for awhile and then I fall off. I fall off every bus I'm on: the weight-loss bus, the organized mom bus, and the good ole church bus.
What I'm missing in my life is accountability. I don't know why I am not strong enough to just 'do it'....but I need to. I mean, I NEED TO.
I am a Christian. I haven't been to church in a while and for that I am very embarrassed. I am one of 'those' Christians. I don't want to be. It wasn't what I intended--it's definitely not what I intended for my family. How do you go back? I honestly don't care what people think, but I do, I will always care what people think--but most of all, I worry about what God thinks. I keep picturing a parent shaking His head in disappointment. Every given Sunday, I battle through this.
And then this song...
After the events of last week: After numerous trips to the ER regarding my SVT, I had an ablation to my heart on Valentine's Day-on a valve that I had fixed when I was born. It was a bittersweet moment for my family and I. My mom was there once again for me. I could write a whole blog dedicated to that woman. She was my first friend and is my biggest cheerleader. I love her.
I jump on the blog-bus and think I'm going to get on it and ride it for awhile and then I fall off. I fall off every bus I'm on: the weight-loss bus, the organized mom bus, and the good ole church bus.
What I'm missing in my life is accountability. I don't know why I am not strong enough to just 'do it'....but I need to. I mean, I NEED TO.
I am a Christian. I haven't been to church in a while and for that I am very embarrassed. I am one of 'those' Christians. I don't want to be. It wasn't what I intended--it's definitely not what I intended for my family. How do you go back? I honestly don't care what people think, but I do, I will always care what people think--but most of all, I worry about what God thinks. I keep picturing a parent shaking His head in disappointment. Every given Sunday, I battle through this.
And then this song...
If this is your first time reading this blog, I ask (or beg) you to continue to support me. Make sure I continue to make correct decisions. Decisions for my health, decisions for my spirit.
I am a good friend, I have had years of experience of not what to do in a friendship--and believe I will help you be accountable just as you help me be accountable. I'm here for ya!
Steady My Heart, God.
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