Little Footprints

I find myself withdrawing from my family---no, not my husband or my children, my parents.  Especially my mother.  I struggle a lot because I think she is confusing my faith in God as making her feel inferior.  I have made some pretty crappy decisions in my life--some of which might effect my kids.  I pray she understands the Kelly she knows is here, I am just forever reprogrammed. I want her to be happy for me.  For my family.   I have come to the conclusion that we both will never be the people we want each other to be. As sad as that is, I am willing to accept it as I am not willing to conform to the ways she thinks I should be. My husbands fave verse: Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but  be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Let me pray over this tonight.

Another great night at worship this evening! Lately, as you may have guessed, I am not afraid to let everyone know I am a Christian.  My transformed self, and yes I have changed, however I am the same person.  The difference is I want EVERYONE to want this!!! I am so excited that I cannot tell enough people how real it is---I have four goals right now---1. Continue to grow closer to my husband and raise our children the way God wants us to. 2. Own a bible with no training wheels (no tabs) 3.  Become an official member of New Hope.  4. Be more bold!!! I really enjoyed the way our speaker found God and Jesus in ever book of he bible--wish he didn't rush through it :-) What a day- a lot of emotion this evening that I was able to shake away ( with his help, silly) I'm good now. :-)

Eeek! Forgot to write last night!!!!   Psalm 150 was read yesterday.   I really struggled with whole lesson.  Were we mocking God?  I get the whole making church fun and hip---but were the sound effects necessary?   My interpretation/answer to this pondering question is yes, as long as your heart and spirit are in the right place and the spirit enables you to do it, then so be it.  What if you aren't totally in it, is it mocking? I praise God any chance I get---as a matter of fact, I praised Him this evening as he helped me work through my daughter not placing in the camp talent show.  I cried, felt like a nut---I wasn't jealous, just felt like she should have been recognized for something.  The song was beautiful, she learned the words and felt the words.  She lost out to comedians, two kids who could spell, a piano player and another group of singers. God was with Bailey tonight---as she just shrugged it off.  I was the blubbering idio...

Today's scripture highlighted the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  As the pastor was reading this highly detailed text--it humbled me.  It was at that moment, that Caleb, my sickly Caleb, had fallen asleep in my arms.  Do you know how thankful I was for this little boy I was holding? Christ died so we could live, he bore all of my sins so I could hold my sick son as he slept.  It was a moment I can never forget. I got all emotional because my son came to me, held his arms out and felt comfort against me.  That's it--that is the way we need to be about God.  We need to be able to go to Him when we are not feeling ourselves.  We need to let ourselves feel that security that you feel when you trust your life 100%. Hold up our hands and let Him take care of us. God gave his only son so I would be able to live--live to care for my son today.  Live long enough to see my husband transform into a Man of God annnnd me appreciate it and NOT run away. Feels goo...

Worship! Very good sermon this evening regarding what is waiting for us in heaven.  I can't wait.  Revelations is what we read out of today. Have to cut this short today as our lil guy is running 100.1 temperature.  Very thankful that we have an in house doctor and nurse on campus tonight. Please pray Caleb wakes up well tomorrow. We miss our little action hero!! Good night and God bless.

"Yes, Pastor and I'm ready for worship!" Today, I need not be afraid to allow myself to be JOYFUL for Jesus---ya know why---he WANTS me to!! Today, starts a series about getting your 'Spiritual Vitamins'. I am NOT ashamed to say I am unhealthy---physically.  I can tell you that I am doing ok spiritually--I just need to remember to take my vitamins! Vitamin A:  Assurance.   We studied Romans 8:1-14 Tomorrow: Vitamin B Soooo...who is taking their vitamins this week????

So the time is here--today is the first day of 'camp'.  I haven't left yet.  Sitting on my computer (writing this blog--not to mention, on hold for the IRS--fun, huh?) Today, I am at peace.  I continue to be in this state of mind all week--I pray my husband and I can get through this little rough patch (we have been arguing a lot--I'm supposed to take full blame, cuz I think that is what he wants me to do).  I suppose I am sorry, but sometimes the boy annoys the heck out of me.  So again, I am at peace (need to remember this, all day--every day) My goal this week is to show God what he has done to me lately (although he already knows).  I am so happy and content--content is a word I think I rarely used.  It's an amazing feeling.  I can't describe it--but even amidst of this contentment, I still struggle with my relationship with my husband. Divorce has crossed my mind.  I feel that maybe this relationship has run it's course and maybe m...

They are a family of 4: Ron, Kelly, and kids Bailey and Caleb.   Ron and Kelly married in 1999 and have been through literally everything that could possibly tear a marriage apart.  They became Christians in the Spring of 2004.  They were baptized at Shawnee Mission Lake.  They swore they would raise their daughter, Bailey,  in a Christian home...full of love, value and God's Word. All was well in the world.  Ron was a devoted youth leader and Kelly was his assistant.   Every Tuesday and Sunday, they were at Wyandotte United Methodist Church in KCK teaching the word the 15+ youth every week..  They even attended Summer Assembly a few times.  They loved it there.  They thrived on the atmosphere (and the milkshakes) :-)  Life was good. It seemed good.  It wasn't.  There was constant fighting, arguing, and mental abuse prevailed in the home.  They had left God at the door--Waiting, hearing every...

Just 4 more days and I will be on vacation---vacation from my life here---serving God there. This is my first year back in service after a long time. God has lead me to a wonderful church, with awesome followers and now it's come full circle.  This is MY testimony. I became a Christian in 2004. My husband and I became youth workers. We were on fire for God! However, that is where our growin g stopped. We were forever youth leaders and immature Christians. We had horrible problems that lead me on a long, bumpy dark road. We were so close to divorce. I mean VERY close.  We ended up stop going to church for a long time. It was then, things got REAL. Our life was TRUE chaos. At that time, we were invited to a new church. It was Easter of 2012. We were hesitant, I guess a little gun-shy...Over the year, we were just a family attending church. We volunteered our time, but that was it. We were able to grow again. We were able trust again. We made friends with people who genuinely c...