You're never really a parent until you have more than 1....

I never believed this until today.   My little 7 year old a complete meltdown after school today and jjust threw on heckuva temper tantrum, which in turn, woke up our new addition oh and did I mention that Ron was sleeping because he has to work tonight.

Then it hit me, I can't lose control. I handled it well

I sent Bailey to her room, calmed Caleb down and fed him.  Once I was done with his needs, I layed him down and then visited Bailey in her room.  We sat and talked for a little while as to what in the world started this episode.  Bailey does have her hyper days, but never a mean tantrum.  I let her talk, explained to her that I loved her so much and that if she needs anything, I'm there.  She proceeded to tell me that she missed a couple words on her spelling test and that everyone else got 100%.  She was upset and embarrased and now her homework was to write the words missed 10 times. 

As her punishment, I took away her 'DS' and she missed her TV time for the remainder of the week.  Bailey agreed with this punishment, did her homework and went to bed.

So I know it's not THAT big of a deal, but when I'm only used to dealing with one set of tears at a time, I'm doing great!  Did I mention that the happy pills work wonders too :-)

I know it's late...

To my little son:

Well your dad and I came to visit you this afternoon as the weather is still frigid outside.  We learned today that your reflux is indeed bad, so they switched your medication from zantac to prevacid.  As I was feeding you, you seemed so uncomfortable, you wimpered throughout the whole thing--definitely broke my heart.

Dr. Mellick did state that the prevacid should do the trick.  She plans to do look at your esophagus when your reflux gets better to ensure there is no damage.

So we heard the news that you will not be coming home anytime soon, so being your sissy's birthday present next week is not an option.  It breaks my heart each time I have to tell her you're not coming home.  I'm so proud of you both, really.  I know now you both love eachother very much.  Bailey asks about you daily and even includes you in her nighly prayers.

I'm sorry for just being downright childish, hun, really.  I'm so thankful that time is the only thing working against us.  Today, you weighed 5 lbs. 15 oz.  You're almost to 6 lbs.!  You're a healthy little boy, mommy just needs to be patient and continue to pray for you.  I'm sorry for almost tearing up today when they told me that they aren't sure when you are coming home.  It's hard walking past your nursery with you not home, it's hard being home daily, w/o you to hold and talk to.  Darn it Caleb, you're mommy is going nuts without you.

I'm going to go ahead and play with your sister for a bit and then we're going to sit down and watch a movie--look out, when you're home, I'm sure you and I will both have our little movie nights, etc.  Like Nana said to me on my birthday..."you will look back on this and see it as just a bump in the road"...and I need to practice what I preach cuz "Please be patient...God isn't finished with YOU yet".

Good night my sweet Caleb.  Mommy loves you.

See you tomorrow :-)

Chicken noodle soup...and various ramblings :-)

So after much debate and push from the family--I'm finally making my first batch of homemade (ok, maybe not the noodles) chicken noodle soup.  I'm doing it in the crock-pot today, so we'll see...I will definitely let you know how it goes :-)  I can tell you one thing, my house is starting to spell sooo good...yummmm.

My lil Caleb is doing great.  He had a swallow test today and we do not have the results of that as of yet.  He is almost 6 lbs.! Wow!  He was moved from NICU to the progressive care nursery, so that is a good sign.  Our goal is to have him home by our Bailey-bug's 7th birthday which is Tuesday, the 12th.  In the past, I have always had my hopes up to soon have them stomped, so right now, I'm just happy and content he's healthy.  Another good thing is the house is spotless.

I'm not to keen about using all of this time off of work.  I will be off a full month on Friday, so that means if and when Caleb does come home, I won't have that much time off with him--but daddy will, so that's a blessing...I am due to go back on February 8th...I wish I could go back now, but that is not a possibility as I do have a temp taking care of my work.

So anyways, I will probably write another letter to Caleb today :-)

My dearest Caleb...

Well sweety, today is January 5, 2010.  I'm sorry for not keeping a journal of your progress over the past month (you were born at 34 weeks on December 11, 2009--my water broke at my Christmas party @ KU Med).  You were supposed to come home before Christmas, then on Christmas and then my birthday, but you are just a teeny bit stubborn (just like your daddy---shhh...don't tell him I said that) :-)

You were a mere 4 lbs. 9 oz. and today you are 5 lbs. 9 oz.!  How awesome is that!! 

Your dad and I do spend a lot of time here in the NICU at Overland Park Regional.  You have grown up a lot since almost 4 weeks of being here--believe you me you have  :-).  We have finally brought up clothes for 0-3 months as you have finally grown out of your 'preemie' clothes.

Right now, you keep having bradys spontaneously...which means that your heart rate likes to drop below 100.  Lately you are not able to pick it up yourself, you need your nurses help...Dr. Blum and his associates think it's all because you're just a immature...I think it's because you have all of these cute nurses looking after you :-).

Another issue, that I'm having, besides missing you dearly is getting you milk.  Honey, since Christmas, my milk supply is somewhat down.  I did talk with a lactation consultant yesterday and I'm gonna work real hard on getting it back.  Your dad keeps thinking you are having issues because you hate enfamil, which I wouldn't blame you, I'd hate it too :-)

So, just now, Dr. Blum came in and said you are looking great, just need to mature a bit...you're so close to coming home, just need to get your ducks in a row :-)

Your big sis Bailey is really excited to meet you!  She went back to school today after Christmas break and right now is looking forward to turning 7 years old next week  (maybe you can be a surprise for her for her birthday?  Let me know if you want to surprise her--I'll see what I can do :-)

Well sweety, I will let you go for now--keep up the great work honey, we are really looking forward to you coming home.

Take care and know mommy loves you sooo much!